im so drunk with asians
where?
always
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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