so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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