Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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