where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
