Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
