I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
