roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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