Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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