That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
