I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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