At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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