All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
