Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize