Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
