i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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