your parents love me but you hate me
kristin has been a bad kristin
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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