dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize