My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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