Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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