Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
