Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
