I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
