i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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