My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
