I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
