You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
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I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
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He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We're too hungover to prance.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
This couple is walking their pig around campus
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize