There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
