brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
