The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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