There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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