____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
