what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
