goodnight i made you a song goodbye
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
