Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
