So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
