oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
