If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
