he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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