I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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