what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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