Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
