So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
