last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
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How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
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I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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