I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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