I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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