he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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