How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
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the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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