this boner is exhausting
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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