Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
