We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
