I need to stop coming to work sober
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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