dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
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And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
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My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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