I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
