dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
