Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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