just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
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I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I think a kid would responsible me up
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I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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