can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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