So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
