So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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