Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
