So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
